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July 2017

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do i love you more than you love me? [mingkit]

nongkongphob:

Summary: ming is big, bright, and loud. he is “i love you” in sky writing, a thousand paper cranes, and limitless amounts of PDA. kit is reserved, private, and sensual. he is “i love you” in soft kisses, reminders to eat, and eyes that trust. ming learns that love isn’t just about showing; it’s also about seeing.

[from ming, with love]

“so handsome.” ming said as easily as he breathed, pulling kit’s necktie through the loop. he traced down kit’s chest with one finger.
“talking about me or the tie?” kit joked.
“well, i wouldn’t have bought it for you if i didn’t like it.” ming pulled the tie tight and grinned at kit. “i like you too, of course.”
“shut up.” kit blushed after staring at ming a little too long. he rammed his bag into ming’s chest and huffed. “let’s go.”
“as you wish!”
—
kit opened his locker and paled at its contents.
“spoiled.” beam muttered.
kit turned to growl at him. “shush.” he set his books down inside and slowly slid out the blue paper bag. beneath wads of tissue paper, he unearthed a few kitkats and a sealed envelope.
“what’s in it?” beam asked eagerly.
“right, like i’m gonna share it with you.” kit bit back.
beam winked. “you’re right, there could be sensitive information in there.” he peered through the bag with curiosity.
“god, ming is worse than wayo.” pha said, noting the excessive gifts.
“they’re both filthy rich.” beam shrugged. “you guys are lucky.”
pha and kit both glared at him.
—
“thank you.” kit whispered into ming’s ear,
leaning his head onto ming’s shoulder.
“woah there.” beam approached the cafeteria table, one hand covering his eyes. “are you decent?”
“we’re in public, beam.”
“so? hasn’t stopped you before.”
pha snickered behind him and kit resisted the urge to bury a fork in his neck.
“why are we all blushy?” pha intruded. “did something happen?”
kit sighed, slowly revealing his right hand.
ming rubbed the metal band and brought it to his lips to kiss lightly.
kit smiled with his head tilted while he watched ming.
“you’re married already?” beam rejoiced. “was i the best man?”
“please, it was me.” pha defended.
“it’s not a wedding ring.” kit muttered, simply appreciating the little reminders wrapped around their fingers.
“and it was wayo.” ming revealed.
“damn,” pha whispered to himself. “traitor.”
—
when kit turned on the lights in his dorm, he almost fainted. “holy shit.”
“hi.” ming smiled, covered in a blanket of paper cranes.
“what are you doing?” kit asked.
“the crane symbolizes loyalty and beauty. it’s a tradition to fold one thousand cranes at japanese weddings. they say whoever has the patience to fold them will be granted their most desired wish.”
“huh.” kit hummed to himself. “how many is that?” he mosied over the birds with his hand. “not a thousand, surely.”
“no, just a hundred.” ming smiled up at kit with bright eyes. “but i already have my greatest wish.”
kit laughed and allowed himself to carelessly fall down onto the bed.
—
“you’re more gorgeous than greek sculptures.” ming said, water running over his face. he kissed kit incessantly, on his cheeks, and his mouth, and his neck.
kit pushed his soapy bangs back from his forehead. “i don’t see any showering happening here.” he said pointedly.
ming ran his fingers through the thick lather of shampoo on kit’s head, styling his hair up, then laughed. he assessed kit’s probable reaction, then pulled kit closer into a hug.
“ming!” kit shouted, beginning to scrape the foam off of himself and fling it at his boyfriend. “you’re making us late for school!”
ming gave him one last kiss. “you’re my favorite person in the whole world.”
kit rolled his eyes.
ming leaned against the glass of the shower stall and smiled earnestly. “what? you are.”
—
ming lied awake in bed, eyes resting on kit’s sleeping face. his features were softly accentuated by dim lamplight.
kit’s snores were light, just a quiet loop in the dead of night. he hugged a small, shaggy teddy bear to his chest. it was the plush that he had refused to keep when ming brought an entire basket of toys to him after class one day. the stuffed animals were cascading off the sides: bears, and elephants, and wolves, all carrying big and bright hearts and tumbling to the floor.
the one kit was particularly protective of was a bear with messy black fur. the text in the heart embroidered on its belly read “for my kitkat. ming.”
ming smiled while looking at the stack of stuffies beside the bed, and thumbed thoughtfully through kit’s soft hair. he slung an arm around kit and pulled himself closer, just enough so to kiss him on the forehead. he sighed. “i love you.”

—
“i just don’t know what to do.” ming complains in exasperation. he’s stress-eating a baggie of carrots while beam and wayo watch in amazement. “i keep hinting that i’m in love with him, but i have a feeling he’s just going to freak if i tell him.”
“oh come on, you’re not that bad.” wayo teases.
“shut up, i’m serious.”
beam chuckles while pulling the bag away from ming. “what makes you think kit doesn’t feel the same?”
“he never says it, he rarely shows it. i don’t wanna jeopardize the amazing thing we’ve got going if being more committed is going to freak him out.”
pha collapses beside wayo with a thud. “lunch.” he says, pushing two plates onto the table.
“thanks.” wayo smiles and kisses pha. “i love you.”
“love you too.” pha grins.
ming flails his arms about and whines. “see! they say it like it’s a hello!”
“no food for me?” beam grumbles, pulling a carrot out of the ziploc.
“focus, i’m in crisis, beam!”
“what’s up?” pha asks.
“how do i make kit love me?”
pha rolls his eyes. “are you serious?”
“mhm!” ming nods indignantly.
“well, ming, you’re over-the-top sometimes, but have you met kit? not his style. if you wanna know how he feels, just think about his actions in the past differently from your own.”
ming looks at pha in disbelief, then at wayo. “and you’re dating this guy?”
“and he loves me.” pha adds.
“ming, just think back.” beam encourages, still snacking on his carrots.
—
[from kit, with love]

kit eyed ming cautiously, the younger boy practically throwing his clothes on while watching the clock on the wall.
“i told you it was a good idea to keep clothes at my place.” kit nagged.
“when you’re right, you’re right.” ming laughed. he shoved his shoes on and started- or rather, sprinted- for the door.
“are you planning on having breakfast?” kit asked.
“class starts in 25 minutes-”
“ming.” kit interrupted sternly, yanking his boyfriend to a halt by the tie. “please eat soon.” he pleaded, handing ming an already prepared tupperware container of rice and vegetables. he kissed ming and giggled. “just calm down.”
ming pressed his forehead to kit’s, inhaling slowly. “i am.”
“ok,” kit said, combing ming’s hair part with his fingers. “i’ll see you later.”
—
“where are we going?” ming asked, dangling car keys between his fingers.
“uh, pha said the noodle stall.”
“the one with the pictures all over the walls?”
“yeah.”
“okay,” ming shrugged, “let’s go.”
kit looked at him in disbelief. “in that?”
“what’s wrong with this?” ming asked, tugging at the hem of his tank top.
“it might rain tonight.”
“and?”
“you’ll catch a cold.” kit scolded.
ming pouted. “but baby, i look cooler like this.”
“and you’ll look really cool with a stuffy nose and red cheeks.”
“i’ll look cute and you’ll pamper me.”
“just wear the jacket, mingkwan!”
“fine.” ming whined, pulling on a jacket from kit’s closet.
—
ming slumped down into a chair, teeth bare and almost grinding. “hey p.” he sighed.
kit pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “hey ming.” noticing his unusual behavior, kit pressed a hand to ming’s cool forehead and frowned. “are you okay, babe?”
“yeah. i guess.” ming swatted away any concerns.
kit set down his book and leaned down to wrap his arms around ming, hugging him close. ming was obviously dejected by something that occurred on campus. maybe a bad test score.
ming fell into it, syncing his breathing with kit’s. his eyes closed, ming let his chest fall and rise in steady rhythm. he nuzzled his face into kit’s chest and finally stopped tapping his feet. he was stilled in kit’s arms.
“uh, you want some tea?” kit asked. he was rubbing a thumb against the nape of ming’s neck.
“no. i’m okay.” ming hummed. he opened his eyes and stood up. “thank you,
kitkat.”
“yeah, of course.” kit smiled when ming pulled him into a kiss.
—
“this is kinda stupid, right?” ming asked, glancing toward kit on the other side of the couch. the screen was lit with some K-drama they found on a streaming service and a bowl of crackers sat between them.
“what, the show?” kit asked, eyebrow raised.
“no. uh, never mind.”
“okay, weirdo.” kit’s stomach rumbled a little and he pulled the bowl of snacks into his lap. he scooted up to ming’s side.
“hi?” ming greeted teasingly.
“hi.” kit muttered, shifting under the bowl. “this is kinda heavy. can you hold it?”
“yeah sure.” ming agreed, sliding it into his lap.
kit took this opportunity to pull the blanket up from the arm of the sofa and over him. he leaned into ming, curling around his body. he reached for ming’s hand.
“you better not fall asleep on me, kitkat!”
“why?” kit asked, eyes fluttering shut. “you’ll still be here when i wake up.” he murmured and with that, kit relaxed into a sleepy state.
smiling to himself, ming looked down at their interlocked fingers.
—
kit watched as ming groaned and tapped at his head with a mechanical pencil. “are you okay? you’re going to dig a hole in your temple.”
“this is kinda hard.” ming admitted, without any affectation whatsoever.
“what is it?” kit asked.
“statistical analysis.” ming pouted, rolling his head toward kit. “i’m having trouble, p!”
“ok, hold on.” kit scrambled over to the desk. he fingered through the papers, taking in the gist of the material, and nodded to himself. “i took a bit of stats. prerequisite for studies in biometric data analysis courses.”
“so you’ll help me with your elder wisdom and experience?” ming pleaded.
“ming.” kit scolded.
“what?”
“ask nicely.” kit instructed.
“please help me, p?” ming asked, with all the politeness he could muster.
“of course.” kit smiled, sitting beside ming. “we want to see you graduate, na?”
—
“ughhhh you’re soooo boooring.” kit texted beam, barely recognizing what words he was stringing together.
“sorry i’m not campus moon ming kwan, but a boy can dream!” beam replied. “where is your nong, anyway? he should be back by now, right?”
“yeah, i guess. but it’s not too late.” kit explained.
“he’s on a trip with family, right?” beam texted. “kinda weird that he hasn’t shown yet.”
“yeah.” kit sent the message, then tossed the phone onto his bed with a sigh. he loved beam, but he had a feeling his friend was going to worm a bad idea into his head.
after a moment, his phone buzzed. kit ignored it.
but then it buzzed again, and again, and again.
“god damn it, beam.” kit rolled his eyes and picked up his phone. “oh shit, ming.”
his notifications read: “hey p, i’m in a little trouble. ):” followed by “going to be a bit late.” and “sorry babe! see you soon!” the last text from ming read “don’t worry about me.”
minutes passed. then an hour. kit was ready to rip out his own hair. finally, the doorbell to his dorm rang.
“ming!” kit shouted while jumping up to answer the door. when he swung it open to reveal an apologetic and sheepish ming, he caved. kit threw his arms around ming’s waist and squeezed tight. he was a little embarrassed to show such adamant affection, but kit didn’t want to chance letting go.
“uh, i need some first aid.” ming managed to say from within the hug.
“what?” kit reluctantly let go. he let his gaze fall to the wrist ming was cradling. “oh, you idiot.” he whispered. “what happened?”
“minor car accident. some guy came flying down the road when i was driving. i messed up my wrist steering past. luckily no one else was hurt.”
kit was enraged. “what are you doing? go to a hospital!”
“you’re the doctor!” ming frowned. “and i didn’t want you to wait anymore.”
“ming!” kit had to fight himself to avoid hitting him. “your wrist is probably sprained!”
“and you don’t know how to treat it?”
kit sighed. “i’ll wrap it up, but only because it’s late. tomorrow i’m taking you to a doctor that’s graduated med school.”
ming nodded adamantly. “deal.”
ming followed him inside and kit found a wrap in his bathroom cabinet for him.
while kit fussed over the bandage, ming managed a small smile. “i told you not to worry about me, p.”
“yeah, well,” kit huffed, “i can’t help it.” he finished sorting the gauze out and sighed. “i don’t want you getting hurt.”
“i trust you.” ming reassured.
“i know.” kit brought ming’s head down to his, pressing their foreheads together. he raised a hand up to ming’s cheek and leaned in slowly, closing the little distance between them. his lips quivered slightly, his hand still gently cupping ming’s face as they kissed. their mouths moved slowly against each other’s. it was a new kind of intimacy: not entirely unlike that of their sexual experiences, but not entirely like them either.
ming ceased the kiss when he felt a salty wetness spread across kit’s bottom lip. “are you crying, p?”
“shut up.” kit sobbed quietly, hugging ming tight again. he buried his face into ming’s shoulder and shut his eyes tight.
with his good hand, ming held kit’s neck and closed his eyes as well.

—
ming’s eyes widen. “oh shit.”
beam grins. “told you!”
“for someone who’s so great at treating other people’s love problems, you are so single.” pha teases beam. “well, except for your forth-”
“hi kit!” beam greets, with mock enthusiasm and a murderous glare in pha’s direction.
“hey beam. pha, wayo. ming, i didn’t know if you had eaten yet. so here.” he sets down the plate of fried rice and chicken he’s holding with one hand, and the bottle of water in the other. “and you need to drink more.” he takes a seat beside ming.
“thanks p, but you didn’t have to feed me today. why’d you get lunch for me?”
kit looks at the others sitting around the table. after realizing his boyfriend is, in fact, not joking, he sighs. “ming,” he taps him lightly in the forehead. “it’s because i love you.” he explains.
ming’s grin is wide and overbearing. he rejoices by bearhugging kit and laughing at top volume. “aww, i love you too!” he coos, kissing kit on the cheek, over and over.
“we’re in public, ming!”
“oh.” ming retracts himself with a pout. “sorry p, i forgot.”
“it’s okay.” kit smiles. after a moment, he looks back at ming and gives him a quick kiss on the lips. “i really do love you.”
ming nods, beginning to work on his lunch. “i know.”

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