Kirishima: Why is Midoriya crying on the floor?
Bakugou: He’s drunk
Kirishima: And?
Bakugou: He saw a picture of Todoroki’s boyfriend
Kirishima: …But he’s Todoroki’s boyfriend
Bakugou: I fucking know
Midoriya: I’m cold
Todoroki: Here, have my jacket
Kirishima: Hey, I’m cold too
Bakugou: What? *takes off jacket* I fucking told you to bring more fucking layers but of course you didn’t listen and now *piles scarves on Kirishima* I fucking have to make sure you don’t fucking FREEZE to death but you’re fucking allergic to shirts so what the fuck did I expect and *takes somebody else’s hat* how fucking long have you been cold you piece of shit you should’ve said something sooner shitty hair
Kirishima: I have the best boyfriend
Kaminari: Woah, why are your tongues purple?
Kirishima: I had a blue slushie.
Bakugo: I had a red slushie.
Todoroki: We are gathered here today-
Midoriya: (sobs)
Todoroki: To honor the life-
Bakugou: And death
Midoriya: (sobbing even harder)
Todoroki: Of someone who meant much to us all. He was part of Class 1-A. A victim of-uhh…
Bakugou: This is pathetic. I’m going to my room.
Iida: Don’t be so rude! This is a funeral!
Bakugou: For a fish
Todoroki: Shut up. Both of you. Uraraka, start the music again.
Uraraka: Sure thing, lover boy.
Todoroki: Fish Might was only 3 weeks when he was tragically taken from us.
Midoriya: (wails)
Kirishima: Wait I thought this was for Mineta